Yes, this is another post about my kid…Jack, but this one isn’t all farting rainbows and shitting roses…this is the evil side of kids EXPOSED!
These will all be little stories of when my son grows horns…which happens daily but the kisses and lu yous usually make them go away…not today!!!
Just this morning….we were sitting down watching his usual…Mickey Mouse Clubhouse…and I started to sing the song with him…he screams a high pitch scream…turns to me and with fire shooting out of his eyes says “Shut up” I almost wanted to cry…that kid put the fear of God in me for a minute! A little later he’s still doing the high pitched screaming and I have been trying to tell him no, and I spank him sometimes…well I finally asked “How many times does mommy have to spank you before you stop screaming??” He just looks at me and says, ” 2 or 3″……………………i had to leave the room because I was going to laugh………….it really is amazing how quickly this..
Oh…and his new favorite thing is to bash his Leappad into the ground when its not working to his liking or when it needs batteries….I caught him about to do it to my tablet the other day and I yelled…scared him….and he dropped it….. :-O thank God I never take it out of its holder, the tablet is fine!!
Another famous Jack moment is the day he learned to call me a “jerk” from my dear best friend Eliza…i could kill her…..She called me a jerk and he repeated it to me the rest of the day! Took him over to his grandma’s and was trying to have him say it again….he says, “BITCH!” ….whaawhhaawwhaa dafuq???? I’m gonna kill your daddy…mommy doesn’t say that!!! I told daddy later what Jack said….and he left the room…YOU BETTER MOTHERFUCKING LEAVE THE ROOM! WE KNOW WHY HE SAID BITCH! Sorry, I’m not really mad haha. I really don’t swear this much either, ok, i fucking lied….i cuss like a sailor…but not in front of my son….ok, I slip sometimes and say shit and damn….which leads me to my next story….
He’s been pulling down the baby gates a lot…I told him he’s demon spawn and he needs to stop.. he screams his high pitch scream and I say no! He sits down and plays his Leappad….I then decide I need to use the restroom…I leave the door open so I can see him and he comes babbling up to the gate…you can’t understand a damn word he says’…we call it “Jack”anese 😉 and he pulls the gate down…i look over at him and he just says “SHIT! sorry…..” I had to close the bathroom door or start crying because the laughter building up in me was overwhelming folks…I do love this kid…even when he’s being bad sometimes I can’t help but to laugh.
How is that you ask? Because I have learned that kids learn from example…they don’t know any better than what we show them. We have to be wise to what we do and say around them. I can only laugh because I too was a crazy child, and so was his father! His father is the Devil so hence…he’s demon spawn. Either way…don’t take everything your child does to heart…sit with them and explain bad and good and give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes….we all aren’t perfect, but I can guarantee my child will have a kick ass sense of humor and know how to treat others…if he doesn’t I’m blaming daddy 😉