Momma Jon't Know Dack!

My life with a miswired brain, a home business, and a 2-yr old.

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That’s a whole lotta ass!

Sorry for the title, but you’re now reading this smiling 🙂 Oh and before you could even realize you will have read this whole sentence and learned it means absolutely nothing. 🙂 Hope that was another smile.

Since I have been in such a FABULOUS mood today, I was thinking of letting you all into my brain for a bit, that is, you’re about to see my complete randomness. Cheese! No, seriously, I thought it would be a great idea to share my piss-inducing hilarities that I do all by myself. Enjoy!

1. My brain wanders almost constantly….often to inappropriate things. Today while watching Team Umizoomi with my son I couldnt help but start lol’ing when the girl was yelling, ‘top! Bottom! Top! Bottom! What comes next?” Im probably going to rot in hell if it exists but I thought ‘Doggystyle!”

2. My son has discovered certain words, no doubt thanks to me, but now can run around the house laughing and stops, breaks wind and yells , ‘FART! YAY!’

3. My friggin feet are freezing right now, and I need to paint my toenails…

4. While I was eating lunch today, which consisted of a chip-chopped ham, salt & vinegar chips and ketchup sandwich ( dont judge, we all eat weird shit, so dont act like you dont!) I started wiggling and dancing with my first bite and was like ‘ oh snap….now I know where my son gets his happy dance, oh well, this is fucking good’   I used to eat this sandwich a lot, but that was about 25 yrs ago in grade school….

Otherweird things I like to eat are sweet gherkin pickle and peanut butter sandwiches, Sriracha and potato chips, pretzels and sour scream….yeah, fat girl is now hungry again :-/

I need to go get some socks, my feet really really are REALLY cold…wtf?

Why do dog farts smell like rotten hot dogs?  and why does my cat insist that only TWO shits can fit in the catbox? Why do I like animals?

Hey, just realized I forgot to continue the numbering 🙂 bahaha!

Ihad to pause writing right there bc my son just tried sticking pretzel rods up his nose…..why cant this EVER let me catch things on video??? He’s fricken hilarious!ok…you all probably have a migraine, so I will continue this later!

Love yas,