Momma Jon't Know Dack!

My life with a miswired brain, a home business, and a 2-yr old.

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Wow, some crazy asshole thinks I’m influential?? ;-)

ImageYes, dreams really do come true!! Wait…wtf movie is that line from?Anyway….

I was kindly nominate by Don Charisma for this, my very first award!! Yay! and go me that is just so happens to be a Most Influential? This man is smoking some good shit over there in Thailand, pass it on bud! Oh, While you are there please do read is amazing blog and check out his out of this world photography. This guy is amazing and an awesome virtual friend 🙂 Helps me with shit on here a lot, too that I do not get. But hey Don! I managed to figure how to get it on my blog page all by myself!!!!! *stick tongue out* See? I got this shit….

All kidding aside, I’m very honored that he thinks my blogs are influential. After all, I DID post them to enlighten you all to life that is Andrea’s or Momma, however you decide to address me is fine. Just don’t call me a “see you next Tuesday” Remember, I DO sell stun guns and peppers sprays….I’m a boss ass bitch 😉

Before I get to my nominations for who I think are Most Influential I want to take a time out to let you know what’s been going on in my life. My most awesome two-yr old Jack is counting to twelve, ( I may have already mentioned that but fuck you if you really care) and he’s recognizing shapes and telling me his abc’s (even if out of order) this kid is so awesome and I love being a mommy everyday!!! He started with this new thing today coming up to me and saying, “Mommy, want kiss! Want kiss!!” So I’d bend down, give him a smooch and he’d turn around and run away laughing going, “bye bye” and then he’d come back and do it again! We did this for about 20 mins while I’m trying to cook dinner and I was in tears from laughing by the end. I had to stop cutting the steak and peppers for kabobs or i thought I might hurt myself 😉

I have also been working a lot and trying to attend events for my lovely Damsel In Defense (yeah, that’s right, I add a fucking link! booyah!) ok and Jack’s father and I had a brief falling out. I was a single mom for a few days and didn’t know what to do with myself. I was feeling destroyed and putting everything I had into Jack and this new job. I barely slept, lost a few pounds (not that I didn’t need to,  but it was in an unhealthy way) and feeling beat down. Just for him to come to me and finally fight for me…something I had wanted from the beginning, let me know you care! He had been calling my parents asking what he should do, he doesn’t want to lose me. This man went and scheduled counseling for us…COUNSELING!! My heart was so overwhelmed I couldn’t help but cry. I figured if he’s going through this much trouble this mf’er really does care and I will do this. I love the bastard, but man….we had some rough times. Albeit, I never really got to know him because, (go me) we got pregnant one of the very first times we had sex a month into dating. THAT SHIT REALLY DOES HAPPEN FOLKS! I’M A STATISTIC! This after 8 1/2 yrs with my ex and thinking I couldn’t get pregnant. Anyway…needless to say, momma did not leave daddy and we are working on bettering our lives and effectively communicating….and dating 🙂 It’s pretty freakin awesome to be DATED again 🙂

Ok, so anyway, now to my Influential Bloggers….I would like to nominate

1. Danielle with Kuukisu Art (Wonderful woman with a wonderful heart)

2. The Hillbilly Blogger! This guy is hilarious and has a pull on my heart since I’m a little hillbilly!!!!

3. Don Charisma (You don’t not have to do this all again, Don, I just wanted to nominate you because you are very much an influential and awesome person!)

4. Affatshionista! Being a bigger girl myself I love seeing what kind of awesome outfits this lady can bang out!

5. LEGO Shenanigans………need I say more?

6. James Radcliffe  (this guys music puts you into baby making music mood, what a voice!)

7. HarsH ReaLiTy (because this guy is NOT afraid to be himself and has great conversation 🙂 )

8. EthanYarbroughWrites  I love reading this guys blogs and his adventures with kids, very funny and great writer!

9. Paul 🙂 Great guy I have know for more than half my life, he and his husband are good people’s!!!!!!

10. Last but not least….Emails to God (THIS GUY EFFIN CRACKS ME UP!! ) If you think i’m foul mouthed don’t read this guy’s shit!

Conditions For Accepting The Award

To accept this award, the awardee must do the following:

  1. Display the Award on your Blog.
  2. Announce your win with a blog post and thank the Blogger who awarded you. Do not lump this award with any other award in a “basket”, “bouquet” or “collection” etc, I would rather you didn’t accept the award.
  3. Present 10 deserving Bloggers with the Award.
  4. Link your awardees in the post and let them know of their being awarded with a comment (or a pingback).
  5. Include an embedded video of your current favorite song

Okay…and now for my fave song (of the moment) Room to Breathe – You Me At Six

Enjoy. I dig them 😉

Okay, I’m going to bed…








I’m bringing sexy back! Shits…it’s already been broughten!

Hi my loves!!! I’m so sorry that I haven’t been on in toooooo long. I started work for a local campground for a little extra spending cash and boy…I’m their slave now!

Anyway, a lot has been happening the last couple weeks besides working! My big man is counting to 12 (YAY!!!) and he’s only 2 yrs and 4 months!! 3 months premature…such a little smarty…thank goodness he takes after me!!!

My brain has been getting me laughs at work…there is a huge problem with Meth in the county, and unfortunately we see a lot of the individuals. My second day on the job we were all standing under and awning ready to start the day when we noticed this guy ride up in a bike all happy and talking to himself…then he starts singing….then yelling and falls off his bike…gets up, sings and starts twitching all around laughing again….we were all just staring and before my filter could work I just blurted out, “Meth…it’s a hell of a drug” I was embarrassed i just said that in front of my boss but he turns to me, starts laughing out loud and said, “I knew there was a reason I wanted to hire you besides your looks” and pats me on the back. So of course I start laughing too. Made me feel good…I’m the only woman amongst a bunch of men ( I know…poor me, right?) So for them to get a laugh, made me feel about 10 feet tall instead of 5 haha

In other news…my son has decided that he LOOOOVVVEESSS Happy by Pharrell…he’s started dancing to it and oh the videos are hilarious!!!

…he cracks me up.!!!!!! He definitely got some moves from his mama!!!! I included the song for all of your enjoyment 🙂 I can’t help but to dance to it also 🙂 I’m now so happy. I know I provided links for things…I’m still trying to figure out how to get this all just on here…bear with me! Or fucking teach me. If you don’t like it…don’t read my shit then!
I can’t stop dancing now….damnit…and I need to go to bed.
I’m also hungry…I need chocolate! Ya know…my randomness reminds me of a pic…


Ok..night ya’ll.

Love ya’s,



I hate rain….

Ok…I know it’s necessary, but two straight days of it makes for working outside MISERABLE!

Anyway, I have a question for you all. I want to see if I’m crazy, or if it’s a common thing.

I hear little phrases…or sometimes I say certain phrases and all of a sudden a song pops in my head and I must now SING said phrase…for example. At work I had a pocket full of quarters and all of a sudden I start singing, “Got change in my pocket going jing-a-ling-a-ling, ”  (If any of you actually remember that song, you’re awesome!) Then I realized tomorrow is May already and Justin Timberlake pops in my head and i say, “It’s gonna be May” Image

GOD I CRACK MYSELF UP!!!!! I actually had to go the bathroom for that one, because I started laughing so hard I was crying and thought I might pee…and yes, I do have a weak bladder…thanks to a certain 2 yr old. haha Ok…so please tell me I’m not the only one who does this??

Ok…and another question, not song related…I have been tired all day today and was joking around with my baby daddy and I said, “I’m low on Vitamin D, wanna gimme the D?” and again…started laughing so hard I cried…..nah, I don’t even need you all to answer that question for this….I know I’m messed up…haha

Love ya’s,


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Compassion – a Don Charisma Prompt

This little piece is an answer to a prompt of what we would do if we saw someone in need, not so much as for monetary things, but in need of human interaction and love…

read on guys and dolls…this is my heart being put on there….how I care.


Ahem *clears throat and coughs* This post is my heart and soul pouring out here! I actually love making people feel like they aren’t alone, that they ARE special, if at the least let them know they can talk to me and that they are loved/welcome. Part of this comes with nursing…the other is just being a non-self absorbed human being. I’ve sat with patients that were dying because they either didn’t have family or they didn’t care….sat and cried and held their hands while they went to sleep for the last time, because God only knows….I really wouldn’t like to be alone when I leave this world….I want to be surrounded by loved ones ifvat all possible… we all need someone’s love or attention……whether we realize it or not.
Or I love to pick out people who just look like they need a good talk/ friend and just start talking…. and I ALWAYS smile at everyone who passes…you never know when it can turn someone’s day around.


I want to also add, anyone that has ever come into my life has always told me that I am a great nurse/mother/friend, etc, I’m not bragging, but that doesn’t mean anything to me, of course it’s awesome to hear the compliments…but what gets me more is the I love you’s….when someone care hold me and tell me they love me it means more to me than anything. 🙂

I’m done,

 Love ya’s


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That’s a whole lotta ass!

Sorry for the title, but you’re now reading this smiling 🙂 Oh and before you could even realize you will have read this whole sentence and learned it means absolutely nothing. 🙂 Hope that was another smile.

Since I have been in such a FABULOUS mood today, I was thinking of letting you all into my brain for a bit, that is, you’re about to see my complete randomness. Cheese! No, seriously, I thought it would be a great idea to share my piss-inducing hilarities that I do all by myself. Enjoy!

1. My brain wanders almost constantly….often to inappropriate things. Today while watching Team Umizoomi with my son I couldnt help but start lol’ing when the girl was yelling, ‘top! Bottom! Top! Bottom! What comes next?” Im probably going to rot in hell if it exists but I thought ‘Doggystyle!”

2. My son has discovered certain words, no doubt thanks to me, but now can run around the house laughing and stops, breaks wind and yells , ‘FART! YAY!’

3. My friggin feet are freezing right now, and I need to paint my toenails…

4. While I was eating lunch today, which consisted of a chip-chopped ham, salt & vinegar chips and ketchup sandwich ( dont judge, we all eat weird shit, so dont act like you dont!) I started wiggling and dancing with my first bite and was like ‘ oh snap….now I know where my son gets his happy dance, oh well, this is fucking good’   I used to eat this sandwich a lot, but that was about 25 yrs ago in grade school….

Otherweird things I like to eat are sweet gherkin pickle and peanut butter sandwiches, Sriracha and potato chips, pretzels and sour scream….yeah, fat girl is now hungry again :-/

I need to go get some socks, my feet really really are REALLY cold…wtf?

Why do dog farts smell like rotten hot dogs?  and why does my cat insist that only TWO shits can fit in the catbox? Why do I like animals?

Hey, just realized I forgot to continue the numbering 🙂 bahaha!

Ihad to pause writing right there bc my son just tried sticking pretzel rods up his nose…..why cant this EVER let me catch things on video??? He’s fricken hilarious!ok…you all probably have a migraine, so I will continue this later!

Love yas,